Christians for Trump

The election looms, and to help President Trump win re-election I recommend a new group to  help him. Christians for Trump will place signs, canvass neighborhoods, and be present at polling locations. In order to be a member, each citizen must pay a membership fee of $25, and sign the following pledge:

  1. As a Christian for Trump member, I trust that God will guide both President Trump and our country.
  2. As a Christian for Trump member, I will disregard President Trump’s sometimes vulgar language, such as taking the Lord’s name in vain, because none of us are perfect
  3. As a Christian for Trump member, I will recognize that the multitude of women who have accused him of assault are celebrity seekers, nothing more than modern-day Jezebels
  4. As a Christian for Trump member, I will deny the accusations concerning his racism as fake news from BLM and other radical left organizations
  5. As a Christian for Trump member, I will work to support the belief that President Trump expressed to Woodward: That we are not to panic, and the pandemic will go away
  6. As a Christian for Trump member, I will trust him and not the CDC or FDA
  7. As a Christian for Trump member, I will believe in the Dow, not the jobless rates and fading small businesses
  8. As a Christian for Trump member, I will support the practices of ICE and the sub-contractors who build cages for children
  9. As a Christian for Trump member, I will contribute funds to help build the wall to keep rapists, drug dealers,  and other criminals out of America
  10. As a Christian for Trump member, I  will support a third term for him if  that is what he decides he deserves and is best for America

____________________, signed on this  date, _____________

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