The election looms, and to help President Trump win re-election I recommend a new group to help him. Christians for Trump will place signs, canvass neighborhoods, and be present at polling locations. In order to be a member, each citizen must pay a membership fee of $25, and sign the following pledge:
- As a Christian for Trump member, I trust that God will guide both President Trump and our country.
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will disregard President Trump’s sometimes vulgar language, such as taking the Lord’s name in vain, because none of us are perfect
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will recognize that the multitude of women who have accused him of assault are celebrity seekers, nothing more than modern-day Jezebels
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will deny the accusations concerning his racism as fake news from BLM and other radical left organizations
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will work to support the belief that President Trump expressed to Woodward: That we are not to panic, and the pandemic will go away
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will trust him and not the CDC or FDA
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will believe in the Dow, not the jobless rates and fading small businesses
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will support the practices of ICE and the sub-contractors who build cages for children
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will contribute funds to help build the wall to keep rapists, drug dealers, and other criminals out of America
- As a Christian for Trump member, I will support a third term for him if that is what he decides he deserves and is best for America
____________________, signed on this date, _____________
