Christians for Trump

In order to help several members of my family, most of my neighbors, and many members of the Baptist church I attend in their march to re-elect President Trump, I suggest they form a new group to  help themselves him: Christians for Trump. It is my wish that the 10 listed beliefs will help them reconcile the Four Gospels to President Trump’s actions and words.

  1. As a Christian for Trump member, I trust God to use President Trump “To Make America Great Again” just as He used the sinner King David to create Israel.
  2. As a Christian for Trump member, I disregard President Trump’s sometimes vulgar language, such as taking the Lord’s name in vain, because none of us are perfect.
  3. As a Christian for Trump member, I recognize that the multitude of women who have accused him of assault are celebrity seekers, nothing more than modern-day Jezebels
  4. As a Christian for Trump member, I deny his racism as nothing more than fake news from BLM and other radical left organizations.
  5. As a Christian for Trump member, I work to support President Trump’s words  that “It [the COVID-19] will go away,” and we need not panic even as we bury over 200,000 folks.
  6. As a Christian for Trump member, I trust President Trump and not the CDC or FDA
  7. As a Christian for Trump member, I believe in the Dow, not the jobless rates and fading small businesses on our Main Streets.
  8. As a Christian for Trump member, I  support the practices of ICE and the sub-contractors who build cages for children while ignoring the Sermon on the Mount
  9. As a Christian for Trump member, I  contribute funds to help build the wall to keep rapists, drug dealers,  and other criminals out of America.
  10. As a Christian for Trump member, I support a third term for President Trump because of the unfair media treatment he has received.
  11. Amen!

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